Friday, February 13, 2015

My Bloody Valentine: The Best Heart Horror in Sci Fi/Fantasy

by Sara N.

Friday the 13th will roll over into Valentine's Day at midnight, so let's eschew mushy V-Day posts this year in favor of celebrating the creepiest, goriest, grossest scenes involving hearts in sci fi/fantasy.

Eric Northman, True Blood: Eric Northman was never more uncomfortably sexy than when he was drinking the life blood out of human heart as if it were a juice box.

Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones: To guarantee that she'll give birth to the Stallion That Mounts the World, Dany consumes a horse heart. It doesn't work so well, although presumably her iron levels are good for that trimester.

The Gentlemen, Buffy the Vampire Slayer: They need to take seven, and they might take yours. (If that doesn't send a cold dart down your spine, you're a stronger person than I.)

Regina, Once Upon a Time: Regina collects hearts and keep them in boxes, using them to control her subjects — sometimes fatally. Poor Hunstman, we hardly knew ye. (And poor Jamie Dornan, but for different reasons.)

Mola Ram, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: What messed up more children in the '80s: Watching the priest rip the still-beating heart out of a slave, or watching Nazis have their faces melted off in Raiders? I vote for the latter, but I bet lots of you would choose the former.

"Don't Eat the Pictures," Sesame Street: In this 1983 PBS special, Big Bird helps an Egyptian prince trapped on Earth for 40 centuries join his parents in the afterlife. To pass Osiris' test, the prince's heart must weighs less than a feather. After an extremely tense scene, his heart is light enough to move on and become a star alongside his parents and his cat. This is the least gruesome entry on the list, but damn, was this dark when I was 6.

Harry Dresden, Storm Front: Jim Butcher's first Dresden Files book features everyone's favorite wizard as he tries to get to the bottom of a heart-exploding spell. It's a fantastic introduction to Harry's messy, complicated, lethal world.

Milagro, The X-Files: AKA "that episode where Scully has a brief, weird thing with her creepy novelist neighbor who's writing a story that seems to be coming true and oh yeah, he imagines ripping out his own heart." Season 6, in other words. 

Kano, Motal Kombat: Let's be honest, this was the best of the video game's death moves. (OK, if not the best, it's a close second to Sub-Zero's spine rip.)

Elizabeth, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein: This is the most upsetting entry on the list for me. It was so sudden and brutal and cruel to watch Robert DeNiro's creature cut out Helena Bonham Carter's heart on her wedding night.

Sam Merlotte, True Blood: Yep, True Blood gets two entries. Shapeshifter Sam gores a maenad who thinks he's her bull god, and then he shifts into a naked man and pulls out her black heart, killing her and ending the townwide orgy. Man, do I miss that crazy show.

Stephen King: I tried and tried to think of some gross heart scene in King's stories, and I had no luck. I did find this quote, though, and it's fabulous:

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! May all of your hearts be the chocolate kind this year!
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