Monday, September 22, 2014

They Do: Ranking Your Favorite Sci Fi/Fantasy Weddings

by Sara N.

All last week, a small but vocal segment of television viewers were aflame as they waited for Saturday to arrive, for lo, that was the air date of the Outlander episode "The Wedding." The slow burn of the crackling chemistry between Claire Beauchamp and Jamie Fraser finally combusted on Saturday, and now that it finally aired, let's see where this happy occasion falls on a ranked list of other major sci fi/fantasy/genre weddings over the years.

Worst to best. Let's do this.

Red Wedding, Game of Thrones

This is easily the most horrible wedding in the history of weddings. Nothing else on this list even comes close. (And yes, it's even worse than the weddings of those couples who schedule five hours for photos between the ceremony and the reception.)

Freya and Dash, The Witches of East End

Let's see, there's infidelity, a last-minute dumping, and both murder and attempted murder of multiple members of the wedding party by multiple members of the wedding party. In short, not a good wedding.

Xander and Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It was heartbreaking to watch the disintegration of the relationship between two characters we loved — and on their wedding day, no less. But hey, at least nobody died. 

Bella and Edward, Twilight: Breaking Dawn


Donna's wedding, Doctor Who

Her first wedding, that is. Which was based on a sham relationship. That was part of a plot to destroy the Earth. That was hatched by a villain. Who was a giant evil spider. Poor Donna!

Anakin and Padme, one of those damn Star Wars prequels

Man, screw those prequels.

Mina and Jonathan, Dracula

It was hasty affair and done in a language the couple didn't understand and everybody wore head-wreaths and yes, sure, Dracula is an undead demon, but he's crying blood tears because he has crossed oceans of time to find you and you're marrying Keanu Reeves and his British accent, MINA. 

Buttercup and Humperdink, The Princess Bride

Terrible for Buttercup, but excellent from a preaching point of view

Bill and Fleur's wedding, Harry Potter

How delightful to witness a magical wedding ... until the Death Eaters show up and ruin everything. Jerks.

Purple Wedding, Game of Thrones

Mixed bag here. Tyrion is abjectly humiliated, and Sansa isn't treated much better. But it's redeemed by the ending. I mean, has the groom ever looked more handsome?

Isabel and Jesse, Roswell

This wedding was cheesy and forced, plus there's an eyebrow-raising age difference (18 versus 26), plus Isabel doesn't disclose her alien identity to Jesse prior to their marriage. As we all know, good marriages are built on honesty, so that's a wedding fail.

A.J. and Grace, Armageddon

First of all, Liv Tyler is gorgeous in a wedding dress, which by itself merits its inclusion on this list. And I challenge you not to tear up when you see the photos of the fallen Roughnecks at the front of the church, including the bride's father. Sniff! (Shut up, I will not apologize for loving this movie.)

Riker and Troi, Star Trek: Nemesis

How fun to see the crew back together! And it's even better when it's my favorite Trek couple gettin' hitched.

Jean Gray and Scott Summers, X-Men #30

This issue depicts a rare sustained moment of peacefulness and joy in the X-verse, which was especially welcome because it followed a turbulent period for our favorite mutants. Maybe somebody ought to check on Wolverine, though, just in case.

Lois and Clark, Lois and Clark


Jamie and Claire, Outlander

It was highly anticipated, and it did not disappoint. Jamie and Claire were everything they needed to be on their wedding day: tender, nervous, affectionate, warm, occasionally naked, and deeply, deeply sexy.

Sam and Rosie, Lord of the Rings

Because who wouldn't want to attend a Hobbit wedding? You just know the food, dancing and general merriment will be top-notch. Shire weddings, FTW.

Agree with the rankings? Disagree? Think something should be higher, lower, added to the list, or taken off? Let me know in the comments!
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