Monday, August 4, 2014

Because Zombies

By Megan S.

We don't know much about iZombie, The CW's latest show from the man behind Veronica Mars, Rob Thomas, but the snippets that have surfaced from Comic-Con sound pretty fun and campy. We've learned that ever since the morning after a life altering* party, Liv Moore's tried to hide the fact that she's now a zombie.  She drops out of medical school and starts working in a morgue where the brains are brought right to her slab.  She may not have to tip the delivery guy/coroner, but her dinner does come with a hefty price.  She inherits some of the memories and traits of the person she's feasting on.  So, with the help of a few new confidants, Liv does what any undead with a [probably rotting] heart of gold does, she attempts to catch a killer and set things right.

The only question I have is why is she trying to keep it a secret?

Zombies and zombie-related problems are the ultimate excuse for anything.  When your roommate asks you why you're shambling around in your bathrobe at two in the afternoon, it's not because you're hungover and you feel like death, you can claim it's because you actually are dead.  Yes, some form of "because zombies" is an excellent way to avoid answering annoying questions.  Lets walk through a few examples, shall we?

Answer: "I don't need to give zombies another incentive to attack me."
Question: "Why won't you eat your salmon?  It's brain food!"

Answer: "We need to be able to blend in when they rise."
Question: "The dirty clothes pile smells awful. Why haven't you done the laundry yet?"

Answer: "Braaaaains."[Said with a bit of drool dribbling down your chin.]
Question: "Hey, girl.  What's your name?"

Answer: "I have to be able to run from zombies."
Question: "Why have you never worn those super expensive stilettos you fell in love with?"

Answer: "That's how virus that causes zombism will spread."
Question: "Can I use your chapstick?"

Answer: "You'll be happy I thought ahead and stockpiled it when the apocalypse comes."
Question: "Why in the world did you buy all that Halloween candy?"

Answer: "Sorry.  Fine motor skills were the first thing to go."
Question: "Why don't you come out dancing with us?"

Answer: "Research."
Question: "Why are you rewatching that iZombie clip over and over again?"

So, get creative.  What annoying question will you answer with "because zombies?"

*Get it? GET IT?!

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