Monday, November 25, 2013

Hunger Games Chocolate Bar: Review of the Most Ironic Tie-In EVER

by Megan S.

Behold, the most ironic product tie-in ever, an overpriced Hunger Games candy bar! Indeed, these decadent theobroma cacao creations have been paired with a book-cum-film series that rails against class disparity and lectures on the evils of greed and gluttony.  Priced at a cost only a Capitol citizen would easily swallow, Wild Ophelia is hocking twelve different chocolate bars representing the dozen recognized districts in Suzanne Collins' Panem.  Like you, I wondered what could the marketing team possibly be thinking (other than, you know, $!$!$!) when I stumbled upon the candy.  And like you, I wondered (more importantly) how they tasted.

So, to spare you any potential buyer's remorse, I *ahem* volunteered to do a taste to see if the chocolate bars were worth five bucks a pop.

DISTRICT 12 (Mining): mined salt and milk chocolate; DISTRICT 11 (Agriculture): harvest cherry and dark chocolate; DISTRICT 10  (Livestock): beef jerky, smoked mesquite, and milk chocolate; DISTRICT 9 (Grain): milled oats, vanilla hemp seeds, and dark chocolate; DISTRICT 8 (Textiles): caramelized crispy rice and dark chocolate; DISTRICT 7 (Lumber): smoked chipotle chili and milk chocolate; DISTRICT 6 (Transportation): crunchy runner peanuts in peanut butter and milk chocolate; DISTRICT 5 (Power): crispy crunchy caramel corn and dark chocolate; DISTRICT 4 (Fishing): sea salt, coconut, and dark chocolate; DISTRICT 3 (Technology): arabica coffee, crystal salt, and dark chocolate; DISTRICT 2 (Masonry): caramel, pecan, and milk chocolate; DISTRICT 1 (Luxury): rare harvest cashews and milk chocolate.

I chose the milk chocolate paired with caramel popcorn and dark with beef jerky, the most and least appealing flavors to taste respectively.  The findings were surprising.  The chocolate was good in both cases but the caramel corn was disappointing.  The bar contained a few miniscule pieces of what was probably tasteless popcorn but could have also been styrofoam. However,District 10's beef jerky, to my astonishment, was actually tasty!  I enjoyed the savory, salty bits with the milk chocolate.  I would have never have expected it, especially because I don't like salted chocolates. Were they worth five dollars, though?  Definitely not. 

Most bewildering of all, these chocolate bars are the least expensive in the Hunger Games line.  The Katniss, Effie, and President Snow bars at $7.50 each. (Dude, Wild Ophelia, next time at least make the Snow bars rose scented.  It's canon.) The most pricey of all is a whopping $225 for a 36 piece truffle collection. That's six bucks a tiny truffle! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? If Collins was upset that the cat was the wrong color in the films, what would she have to say about a box of candies that cost a quarter of a grand for a movie all about starvation?

So, what do you think?  Will you picking this up for the holiday season?
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