Monday, June 3, 2013

10 WTF Science Fiction & Fantasy Sex Toys

by Megan S.

Oh dear.  It's our first ever NSFW post here on S4 and it's a doozy! I blame the Pyramid Collection, a sort of by mail precursor to Hot Topic. As I was perusing through the catalog the other day, I spotted, amongst their "Zombies Recycle Too" reusable canvas bags and flouncy pirate shirts, a Dia de los Muertos themed vibrator. And well, it sent me down the rabbit hole in search of science fiction and fantasy sex toys to share with you all.  Oh, the lengths I go to for S4 readers.

I came across quite a handful of noteworthy ones you've probably already heard about, like the sparkling Twilight member that you toss in the fridge first for the authentic experience and the zombie one complete with bits of missing flesh.  Thankfully, I also managed to find a whole new bunch to confuse and amuse this Monday morning.

So, without further ado, lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'entrate.

Speaking of going down the rabbit hole, Good Vibrations has a line of Alice in Wonderland vibrators including the Chershire Cat.

The Vampire comes in its own coffin holder.  La petit mort indeed!
This little alien, aptly named Man Eater, is designed specifically for the gentlemen in the audience.

Do it or do not do it.  There is no need to try with this lightsaber.

Oh, Rubber Ducky.  I can't imagine what Ernie would say if he found out about your vibrating pirate adventures.

I'm pretty sure Darth Vader would force choke if he found out his likeness was not only used as a dildo, but was done in pink.

I... I'm not quite sure what to say about a steampunk ray gun designed with your lady parts in mind. 

Meet David's lesser known but more well liked brother, Stefan the Gnome. His seven and a half inches makes him an inch and half taller than the official height of his famous sibling.

If I were the one writing the description for a Cthulhu dildo, it would read, "You'll be calling out for the Elder Gods during love crafting when you send this unspeakable little monster back into the hidden depths from whence it came."
You guys, this Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence radio telescope vibrator is sold by Walgreens. WALGREENS OF ALL PLACES.  The pharmacy at the corner of happy and healthy, indeed.
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  1. Your Cthulhu dildo comment was made of win.

    Also, a steampunk dildo gun? Talk about full commitment to your cosplay!

    1. Thanks, ML! I was pretty pleased with the number of puns I was able to cram in there.

    2. Cramming things in there did seem to be your topic of the day... :)

  2. 1) no "Here kitty kitty" jokes?
    2) my sex life would be truly dead if I ever bought that.
    3) What... how? No, I don't wanna know.
    4) May the force be with you has a whole other meaning there...
    5) Rubber ducky, you're the one.... you make bathtime so much fun...
    6) I already used up my one goof Star Wars perv joke on #4.
    7) Zap!
    8) That is waaaaay too pointy to go near my nethers. Although, maybe it's not meant for girls?
    9) ...calling out to this particular god during sex is probably not the best idea you've ever had...
    10) something something probing question something something...

    11) What, no

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