Monday, February 25, 2013

It's the First Annual Stella Awards!

*walks out in a sparkly dress as music swells* Hello and welcome to the first ever Stella Awards! I'm your host, Meghan B, and it is a complete honor to finally gives these films the accolades they deserve.

For too long, Hollywood has relegated sci-fi and fantasy films to being no more than box office fluff. They think they can't be as hard hitting as a Zero Dark Thirty or as important and full of gravitas that Lincoln was. While science fiction takes us to impossible futures, they help us see our present more clearly. While fantasy lets us explore fantastical worlds and creatures, they really show us things about ourselves we never knew. Watching the Avengers isn't just a fun time at the movies, it's a film that explores the connections between a group of flawed people tasked with doing the impossible. Cabin In the Woods isn't just a quirky slasher flick, it's a thoughtful examination on horror movie culture and stereotypes. These are themes and conversations we should be having and are every bit as important as what Argo demonstrates. Don't forget, Argo is about a fake sci-fi movie that ends up saving people! Is Katniss Everdeen's suffering and struggle any less noble than Fatine from Les Miserables? Is Biblo Baggin's journey any less important than the one shown in Life of Pi? Genre films show us aliens, zombies and elves to convey to us what it means to be human. Science fiction and fantasy films are just as important as any other film type and deserve to be awarded for their achievements.

It is my greatest joy to bestow honors upon these outstanding achievements in genre film making. They made us laugh, they made us cry, they made us scream in terror and we loved every single second of it! And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give you the FIRST ANNUAL STELLA AWARDS!!!

Our first award of the evening deals with animation. Animation is a spectacular way to tell a genre story. The creative artists and voice talents behind each film strive to make the pixels on screen seem real. They use computers, special effects and fantastic story telling to wrench our hearts and make our spirits soar, while the voice actors use every weapon in their acting arsenal to make their character some to life. An animated genre film is never just a cartoon, it is a masterpiece of storytelling. To present our first award, here is an actor who is just as animated as this category! Put your hands together for the handsome and talented Mr Iron Man himself, Robert Downey Jr!

*a cardboard standee of RDJ is rolled out, duct taped to a skateboard* And the award for Best Animated Movie goes to... BRAVE!

Congratulations, Brave! After this short commercial break, we'll reveal the winners for Best Supporting Actor and Actress. Don't go anywhere!

The Stella Awards are brought to you by BACHELOR CHOW - now with flavor!

Welcome back you hoopy froods! Let's keep the momentum going! Our next two presenters know a thing or two about acting in genre films; she played the beautiful Sarah in Labyrinth and he played the cold, logical Spock in Star Trek, it's Jennifer Connelly and Zachary Quinto!

*another skateboard is rolled out, with their cardboard standees taped together*

Being the supporting actor or actress doesn't mean you're second fiddle to the star, you add your own spark of life to a character who can be even more essential than the lead. These roles are so vital because of what they add to the film. These talented actors and actresses know how to steal any scene they're in!

The award for Best Supporting Actor goes to... CLARK GREGG and the award for Best Supporting Actress goes to... ANNE HATHAWAY!

Both Clark Gregg and Anne Hathaway did marvelous jobs as Agent Phil Coulson and Catwoman and it is a joy to recognize them!

When we come back from this short commercial break, we'll reveal the winner for Best Director and showcase a musical number from one of our seven Best Picture nominees! Stay tuned!

The Stella Awards are brought to you by S-MART: Shop smart, Shop S-Mart!

Ladies, gentlemen, hobbits and xenomorphs, it is my pleasure to introduce a man who needs no introduction, because he's too confusing to allow us to write one! Please welcome J.J Abrams!

*another skateboard, another cardboard standee, and lots and lots of lensflare*

J.J. knows how challenging directing a genre picture can be, which is why he's here to award one of his colleagues with the Stella for Best Director!

And the award goes to... JOSS WHEDON!!

Wow, Joss! All that hard work with Buffy and Firefly finally paid off! It's fitting that Joss Whedon won, because our musical guest is here to play a song from his film, The Avengers! Please put your hands, tentacles and claws together for SOUNDGARDEN!

Thank you, Soundgarden! Who wouldn't want to go out and be a superhero after hearing that? 

Stick with me, folks! We're about to reveal the big three; Best Actor, Best Actress and Best Picture of the Year! Right after our last commercial break!
The Stella Awards are brought to you by Shawarma Palace - SHIELD tested, Superhero approved! 

Hold onto your butts! It's time to announce the winner for Best Actor and Actress in a Leading Role! Here to help me announce this award is none other than Nick Fury himself, Samuel L Jackson!

*a stagehand sighs and shoves out another standee* I can't wait for this one! Mr. Jackson, if you'd please?

The winner for Best Actor is... MARTIN FREEMAN and the winner for Best Actress is... JENNIFER LAWRENCE!

What an outstanding pair to win such prestigious awards! Martin Freeman played Bilbo Baggins in this years first installment of the Hobbit trilogy, while Jennifer Lawrence was Katniss Everdeen! I guess the odds WERE in her favor!

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for. The crowning jewel of our award ceremony. The reason you've all come here tonight. It all comes down to this. I can't wait! *rips envelope open with her teeth*

The best genre film of 2012 is... THE AVENGERS!!!

Congratulations to all our winners and all the nominees! You can find the list of all the nominees on our Stella Awards post and please remember to comment here about our winners! I've been your host, Meghan B. Good night and see you next year!
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  1. I have been waiting for this. And it did not disappoint! This is without a doubt the most epic list ever.

  2. Even in a fake awards show for genre films, Cloud Atlas gets the shaft. :(