Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Geek Girls: A Rant

Hold onto your fezzes, folks. I feel a rant coming on...

This shit AGAIN?!
If you haven't heard yet, there's another charming gentleman who has come out of the woodwork, clutching his pearls about all those damn geek girls out there. This undoubtedly wise and not douchey at all guy is named Tony Harris and he's well known around these here interwebs for his involvement in the comics Ex Machina and Starman.

Ladies and gentlemen, Tony Harris is wronger than a GOP pollster on the eve of election day. He's wronger than putting butter on a burn. He is, unfortunately, an idiot. You see, Tony Harris is exceptionally concerned with all these darn womenfolk crashing his boys only treehouse and messing with his comic books. Don't you know girls can't be geeks, and if a girl says she is, she's only faking it to get laid? That klaxon in my head right now is eeriely similar to the one the Bride hears when she sees Elle Driver in Kill Bill.

Deep calming breaths, everyone.

What you see to your right is the Facebook post from Harris that started it all. Boy, he sure has a lot of opinions and a problem with his capslock!

Sadly, there are a lot of people out there that share Harris' opinions. Girls aren't real geeks! Cosplayers are whores! We're just pretending, and we aren't even that hot anyway! But we're total bitches for not letting guys touch us, amirite?

Listen, my brain is fit to explode after having to deal with the immense fuckery of the GOP's war on women these past few months. I have to fight like a hobbit trying to get to Mordor for basic things like health care, equal pay and respect. Now I have to pick up my vorpal sword and go slay the Jabberwocky of misogynistic assholes who think because I have boobs I'm not a real geek?

Bitch, please.

Here's the thing: it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. If you love geeky stuff, guess what, you're a geek! Shocking, right? If you love to dress up, go for it! If you love anime, awesome! Love sci-fi? Epic! No one should give a shit. There is no Voight-Kampff test to make sure you're a true geek or not. If you love something, that is enough.

Don't even get me started on how this idiot thinks the worst thing you can do is call a woman ugly. Gee, isn't it always amazing how you become an ugly bitch the second you refuse to do whatever they want?

I'm a geek. I have boobs. This is okay! Thankfully, the internet has turned against Harris and his toxic, outrightly disgusting opinions about women in geek culture. That doesn't make me want to punch my fist through a wall any less. I am so weary of this. 

Being a geek is a good thing. It's a society and culture that embraces people of all colors and creeds, a place where we can be accepted for being enthusiastic about stuff other people think are stupid. Seeing someone walk by in a Firefly shirt is a chance for a moment of shared kinship, not judgment. It isn't an opportunity to start a surprise Spanish Inquisition (because no one ever expects those) on the person's worth as a geek or to prove they aren't a "real" geek. We get enough of that from people who think Mad Men is superior to Doctor Who, we don't need that shit when we're deal with each other.

If you're worried about "fake" geeks trying to somehow infiltrate our culture, you have missed the point of geek culture entirely. If you're worried about "fake" geek WOMEN, then you have some deeper problems, son. We don't have cooties. We aren't going to emasculate you just because we know the difference between Marvel and DC. We love nerdy things just as much as you do. To try and marginalize us is indicative of a larger gender problem. Do you hate women who pretend to be geeks, or do you have problems with women in general?

Here are some protips to live by in this broad geek culture of ours. You don't get to decide who is a real geek. You don't get to make up silly metrics or tests for people to pass to prove themselves. You certainly do not get to harass, belittle or degrade people just because they aren't the same kind of geek as you. You aren't allowed to bully us or try to make us disappear. Be friendly, be helpful, be nice. Follow Wheaton's law. Don't be a dick.  

At the end of the day, Harris and those like him get to spew misogynistic vitriol into the void, happily sowing discord throughout this grand series of tubes we call home. We don't have to put up with it and it's our duty to call them out on their bullshit every time they pull this crap. In the meantime, I'm going to keep being geeky and awesome. And a hearty "fuck you" to anyone who tries to stop me.

So say we all.

Awesome geek t-shirt comic drawn by the talented Sailor Swayze on Tumblr. Go check her out, she's amazing!
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  1. Well said from another very Geeky female. Sounds like a pretender geek guy who is afraid of being out-geeked by a member of the opposite sex (or who already has : )

  2. As a male geek... ugh. I really like Ex Machina and Starman. It's quite disappointing to learn someone I had admired for their skill is a misogynistic jerk.

    Also I wish I had cosplay skills.

  3. Also, he doesn't seem to have a lot of love for male geeks, either. What a sad creature all around.

  4. Ugh, no.

    Can we do a telephone sanitizer on these folks? They don't want to share a planet with us, we don't want to share a planet with them. Let's get this done.

  5. Ugh, bleh, urgh

    One of those instances where I want to fling up my hands and announce "I'm done!" If anyone told me I wasn't a real geek, "Bitch please" would probably be my response too.