Monday, October 8, 2012

Indiana Jones vs. Eglantine Price

by Megan S.


It's the early half of the 20th century.  Hitler's evil regime is waging a war against the world and you have the chance to take down the Nazis.  Who do you choose to be on your elite team of heroes: famed scholar and dashing rogue Indiana Jones or fussy and forgetful Eglantine Price* (played by Angela Lansbury)?  If you chose Indy, you'd be wrong.  Don't believe me?  Let's do the math with a side by side comparison.

*WHAT?!?  You've never heard of Bedknobs and Broomsticks? Get thee to Amazon!

Round One - MOTIVATION


Jones: Professor by day and treasure hunter by night, Indiana Jones is approached by American army intelligence agents with news the German military is searching for his old mentor.  Jones deduces the Nazis' ultimate goal is to obtain the Ark of Covenant in hopes of making their forces invincible.  The professor agrees to search for his mentor and the Ark in no small part because of the self-satisfaction in would bring him. 

Price: Spinster Eglantine Price lives alone in the English countryside while her country is being bombed by the Nazis.  Determined she must do something to help the war effort, Price signs up for a witchcraft correspondence course.  When the course unexpectedly ends before its completion, she tracks down the head of the school for the one spell she believes could save her country.

And the point goes to... Eglantine for her selflessness!

Round Two - SIDEKICKS


Jones:  Indy has two partners in crime in his biblically related adventure, Egyptian excavator Sallah and Marion Ravenswood, the daughter of Jones' mentor.  Sallah is a true friend who helps the archaeology professor avoid capture and secretly dig for the ark right under the Nazis' watchful eyes.  While Marion mainly serves as the damsel in distress, she does kick some serious butt in her own right and can drink any Big Bad under the table.

Price:  While she is used to being on her own, Eglantine gains four sidekicks in the beginning of her story: three plucky orphan siblings and a charlatan.  The apprentice witch must shelter the London wise-beyone-their-years orphans as part of the war effort and the fraud "Professor" Emelius Brown tags along as she searches for the spell.  All help Price find clues and encourage her attempt to defeat the Nazis.

And the point goes to... both Jones and Price.  Orphans are an automatic win (case in point, Bruce Wayne and his ward Dick Grayson) but Marion's pretty cool so lets be generous and give 'em both a point.

Round Three - OUTCOME


Jones: In the final hours, Indy and Marion are captured by the Nazis and tied to a large wooden post.  Jones, knowing the contents of the Ark may kill all who gaze upon it's contents, convinces the Germans to open and inspect the golden chest to determine if it's genuine.  He and Marion are spared the face melting horror as the rest perish.  With the group of Nazis defeated, the two heroes bring the Ark to the United States.

Price: As the Nazis invade her small country hamlet, Eglantine and the children are locked in a museum to prevent the foursome from warning the rest of the townspeople.  The group's spirits are raised when Emelius returns and all realize the apprentice witch can use the final spell to bring the castle's old uniforms and armor to life.  Eglantine is so powerful that her efforts actually raise a legion of warriors from all over the region to battle the Nazis.  Price directs the entire attack from her broom as she flies above the battlefield.  The Nazis are thoroughly defeated and return to their submarine with the knowledge that the Germans would be unable to win a land war against England.

And the point goes to... Eglantine!  While both defeat their foes, Eglantine attacks the Nazis after being freed.  Indy only takes the Germans down because it aids in Marion's (and, later, his) escape.


So, with a score of 3-1, fussy and forgetful Eglantine Price is by far the better choice when it comes down to defeating the Nazis!
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5 comments:

  1. I used to come home after school and watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks at least once a week when I was a kid. To this day, I still want an all black cat named Cosmic Creepers.
    I'm real sad now because I left the movie at my parents' house along with the VHS player.
    This movie is my childhood. I don't think I watched any Disney film more than this one.

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  2. I am, and always will be, Team Eglantine. And now I'm going to be walking around the house singing "Portabello Road" for the rest of the day.

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  3. If we ever have to fight the nazis, we'd better have BOTH of them along. An unbeatable team!

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  4. Eglantine rocks! I watched that movie so many times, but it was an edited version and I'm still annoyed that MY version isn't the one on the DVD.

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  5. I love Bedknobs and Broomsticks - definitely a childhood favorite!

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