So you're minding your own business, living your life, running your errands, when you start to notice that the people around you are a little more ... bitey ... than usual.
Sure, you're prepared for the zombie outbreak in your home and perhaps even your office (weapons conveniently accessible, bottled water stockpiled, candle-making supplies assembled, etc.). But what if the people around you turn into flesh-eating monsters while you're wheeling your cart through the supermarket? When the dead start to rise, you'll need to fight your way out of whatever spot you're in so you can make it to your pre-determined zombie apocalypse rallying point.
Below is a location-specific guide to finding survival weapons if the initial zombie outbreak occurs when you're away from your home. Read on to learn how to locate tools to sever the head and/or destroy the brain in common locations such as the gym, the grocery store, the library, and many more.
One note: The recommended weapons here are only those available in areas open to the general public. For all I know, every bookstore is stocked with shotguns and bayonets in the back room. But since you can't be sure, you'll need to work with what you can see.
Your best option at the gym are the weighted exercise bars, if your gym has them. The 5-pound and 8-pound steel bars are long enough to swing, hard enough to hurt, and light enough to run with.
These are tough locations. Books aren't known for their sharp edges (thankfully!) and stores full of them won't offer much protection. If you're at a Barnes and Noble-type store that features knick knacks along with novels, look for the bookends. They're heavy, although they do put your hand awfully close to zombie chompers.
Also, some libraries have signage posted to direct patrons to different parts of the library. I bet the base of the sign on the right could do some damage to a zombie skull.
I suppose you could get a little bit of traction by tossing glass jars of marinara sauce at the heads of zombified shoppers, but that ultimately seems like a losing strategy. Unfortunately, most foodstuffs are packaged in cardboard boxes, plastic containers and flimsy jars. Get creative: looks at what's used to hang the food around you. I'm wondering if the metal prongs that products hang from could be forced through a skull with enough force to stop a zom. Could that work? Doubtful, but it's worth a try. Go for the eyes and aim up.
One section to check out is the alcohol aisle. (Well, there are multiple reasons for doing that. You may need a stiff drink before you brain that nice clerk who's been ringing up your groceries for the last five years.) But consider wine bottles: They're made of thick glass, and they have a perfect swinging handle. I think they just might be your grocery store saviors. And may I make a very specific suggestion? Arbor Mist wines. Yes, the drink of choice for newly minted 21-year-old sorority girls seems to have the thickest glass bottles of all the wines in the booze aisle. Grab a Mango Strawberry Moscato and go nuts.
The movie theater
Your best bet is probably to break the glass and grab one of the fire extinguishers that sit outside of most of the individual screening rooms. They're made of metal and will give you a bit of length to your swing.
The coffee shop
I'll be honest, if the zombie uprising happens while you're here, you're probably toast. Because let's face it, whatever you grab to swing at a zombie's head will probably shatter on contact — although you'll look sleek and modern while swinging it.
Target/Walmart-type department stores
Let's face it. This is where you want to be when the dead start walking. Sure, you'll have lots of zombie shoppers to contend with, but boy howdy, you'll have lots of options to arm yourself. There are possible weapons in almost every department: housewares, sporting goods, lawn and garden, crafts. Behold the cornucopia:
|Yes: Cast iron skillets. Heavy but hella strong.|
|Maybe: Knives are sharp, but they're carefully packaged so customers can't just wave them around in the store.|
|Yes: Hedge clippers, shears, spades.|
|Yes: Baseball bats.|
|Maybe: Sturdy folding chairs. They'd definitely increase your wingspan.|
|Probably not: Shower curtain rods look deceptively strong but are often made of plastic.|
|Yes: Really long, old-school metal knitting needles can be great stabbing implements.|
|Yes: What's better than one puncture wound to the skull? Two puncture wounds to the skull!|