Monday, July 30, 2012

Sci-Fi Sports That Should Be In The Olympics

The Doctor and the Olympic Torch
It's time for the Olympics again! How excited are you to see the Americans finally beat the British at Quidditch? And have you heard about the epic game of Pyramid that took place on NBC last night?

Oh, right. It's only 2012 and we're stuck with boring Olympic events like swimming and basketball. Maybe it's time to petition the International Olympic Committee to allow some of the exciting games of the future into the games. I know I'd watch Olympic Pokemon battling and lightsaber fencing.

Join me after the jump for the best sci-fi sports that aren't in the Olympics... yet.

Pyramid - Battlestar Galactica
What is it?: A mix between basketball and smacking the shit out of the other team.
Why it should be in the Olympics: Way more dramatic than regular basketball and much more fun to watch. Starbuck deserves a gold medal, right? So say we all!

Blernsball - Futurama 
What is it?: A way less boring version of baseball.
Why it should be in the Olympics: Baseball is no longer an Olympic sport. Probably because it was much too boring. This is a perfect alternative.

 Quidditch - Harry Potter
What is it?: A complicated game played on broomsticks. Several different balls are in play at all times and the game is only won once the Golden Snitch is captured.
Why it should be in the Olympics: I don't know about you, but I would pay LARGE sums of money to see Qudditch in real life. It's exciting, fast paced and difficult to play. Many people already play a muggle version of Quidditch, but it isn't the same. I want to see people zooming around on broomsticks, dammit!

Chocobo racing and Blitzball - Final Fantasy
What are they?: Chocobos are giant chicken-like birds players can breed and race in Final Fantasy, while Bliztball is an underwater soccer game. 
Why they should be in the Olympics: Why wouldn't you want to race a giant chicken? Give me one compelling reason.

Pokemon battling - Pokemon
What is it?: Capturing and battling Pokemon are the only reason you exist in these awesomely addictive games. With hundreds of different and insane varieties to choose from, every battle is a challenge.
Why should it be in the Olympics?: I want to hear an NBC announcer exclaim "A wild caterpie appeared!" Plus, can you imagine how fun that would be to watch?

Pod racing and lightsaber fencing - Star Wars
What is it?: Self-explanatory.
Why should it be in the Olympics?: Because if you don't want to see Jedi and Sith trying to win a gold medal in lightsaber fencing, we can't be friends.

Element bending - Avatar: The Last Airbender 
What is it?: A spectacular martial art that utilizes the four elements.
Why it should be in the Olympics: Gymnastics has been the reigning champ of the Olympics for too long. I say we replace it with airbending or waterbending. Poetry in motion.

Calvinball - Calvin & Hobbes
What is it?: The best game to ever exist in the history of sports.
Why should it be in the Olympics: I'll let the picture speak for itself.

The Hunger Games 
What is it?: A brutal, cruel, twisted fight for survival.
Why it should NOT be in the Olympics: Part of me isn't convinced the Olympics aren't ALREADY a version of the Hunger Games ...

What sports do you think should be in the Olympics? Let us know in comments!  

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  1. Jumpball - Starship Troopers
    Death Race - Death Race
    Rollerball - Rollerball
    Futuresport - Futuresport (awful movie)