Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Dear Santa

By Meghan B.

Every so often, you see an item or video that makes you scream "do want" at the top of your lungs. You want to throw money at your computer screen. You will die alone and be eaten by wild squirrels if you don't acquire this item. The agony of finding out it isn't actually real and will never be yours is exquisite.

Finding out it's going to be made and sold in store just in time for a major gift-giving holiday is awesome enough to make you believe all over again in mythical men in red with beards.

The item currently on my "major things to obsess about" list is called the Keepon. It is nothing more than an unspeakably cute little yellow robot that dances. I first saw it on a Youtube video a few years ago, getting down to some music from the band Spoon. It made me go "aw" so much that I think I may have strained a vocal cord. It had MOVES! It had big white eyes and looked soft and fuzzy and was bright yellow. We humans are just so screwed when the robots rise up and distract us with dancing... You can plainly see below why I want one.

Every so often, a new Keepon video would show up on Youtube. The adorable dancing robot will fill my heart with untold joy. I learned more about the groove machine. He's from Japan and was made to monitor and help children (especially those with autism) with social interaction skills. Admirable for a creature that looks like it's two tennis balls glued together. I heard rumors that it retailed for over $30,000. I died a little inside.

Imagine my immense joy when I saw a random Toys R Us commercial and noticed the Keepon there. Were my hopes and dreams about to come true?

Thanks to a company called BeatBots, the Keepon is on sale, in America, for less than a year of college tuition! Renamed the My Keepon Interactive Dancing Robot, it's exclusive to Toys R Us and retails for only $49 dollars. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't giddy with glee.

Sadly, the reviews on the Toys R Us website seem to suggest this cheap Keepon sucks and has absolutely zero dance moves. Did you hear that noise? That was my grief stricken cry. Apparently this amazing little piece of machinery was stripped down, manufactured for cheap, and rolled out. Sure, I don't want to pay thirty grand for such a marvelous robot, but I want one that works. Can't we compromise? Nothing makes me more angry than a good idea ruined. I was so close to having my own Keepon. So close but so far. If it can't dance to Spoon, it's not the robot buddy for me.

When will I be able to have my own little yellow dancing robot friend? When? Why do you torment me, Keepon?

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  1. That thing freaked me out.

    My mom has a similar dancing sunflower and it just... randomly starts dancing sometimes. Like it feels it has to shake its booty. It gives me the wiggins.

  2. Or the reviews could be a subversive campaign. Like someone is trying to keep this from being the next Tickle me Elmo, ya know.