By Meghan B.
I spent most of my Thanksgiving being completely lazy. I watched re-reuns of Bitchin' Kitchen on the Cooking Channel. I love that show. Nadia G is awesome. What was less awesome was the incredibly awful ad for Barnes & Noble's Nook that ran every ten minutes or so.
We all know how I feel about E-Books. As you can imagine, I nearly hurled something straight into my television every single time this aired. It has everything I hate in a commercial and managed to make me even more angry at e-readers, if that's possible.
Watch it, then join me after the jump for some flailing, screaming and rendering of garments. Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for a rant.
Barnes & Noble has been putting out just incredibly annoying ads for their Nook lately. The first I saw featured noted hack author James Patterson. The man doesn't even really write his own books anymore, and he's trying to sell an e-reader? Bad idea, B&N. Bad idea. God, do I hate James Patterson...
Then, we have ads featuring Jane Lynch, including the obnoxious singing number above. I've never been a fan of Glee (because it's basically an entire series devoted to talent show day at Degrassi) and I always particularly disliked Lynch. She's not funny, she's always annoying when she does commercials. She bugs me.
All these things combined have become commercial hell for me. I just can't even. The first time I saw that singing Nook ad, I was aghast. I mean, "NOOKsellers"?! Excuse me, I have to go vomit now. Nooksellers! Look at that stupid name! I'm sorry, I truly am, but that is the most insane and stupid thing I've heard all week (and I work in customer service, I hear a lot of stupid things all day)! The commercial continues on, featuring happy jumping "Nooksellers" who want to make you love the new technology. When they sing about what the device can do, books take a backseat to apps and movies.
I still can't decide is Barnes & Noble is crazy like a fox or just plain crazy. Sometimes I wonder if the Nook is cutting off their nose to spite their face. Amazon doesn't need books to survive. It sells everything from shoes to pepper spray. Barnes & Noble, on the other hand, is a bookstore. It sells books. It needs books to survive. No amount of adding board games and puzzles is going to help. No one goes to Barnes & Noble expecting it to be Toys R Us. They go there to buy books and magazines. I wish I knew their game plan.
I'm still fighting the good fight against e-readers but because of this annoying and stupid ad, if Hell ever does freeze over, I'm getting a Kindle. Barnes & Noble, you and your "Nooksellers" have fun doing parkour all over your apparently worthless and useless shelves that used to hold books before your Nook came around. I, meanwhile, am going to stick to my beloved paper books and change the channel whenever your ad comes on.
Okay. Rant over. I feel better now.