A friend of mine has a daughter who is starting to get old enough to get out of Disney Princesses and into vampires. Namely Twilight. Since I'm the resident expert on all things paranormal and vampire-y, my friend asked me what I thought of the novel. It's been awhile since I've read it, so I picked it up and read through it again. For the sake of completeness, I also re-watched the movie.
Yeah, that's right, I read Twilight and watched the movie. On purpose. Twice.
|Vampire: You're doing it wrong.|
I don't buy Robert Pattinson as Edward at all. He's pretty enough, sure. But he can't get the scary "I'm a vampire" mojo working even a little bit. I just can't imagine being afraid of this Edward the way Bella is supposed to be. She's supposed to fight the fear away and be in lurve, after all. I think Kristin Stewart is the perfect Bella; if anything, she's far less pathetic in the movie than in the books. Taylor Lautner is a great Jacob. I feel like they really fell down on casting the Edward part.
Maybe it's because I've been watching The Vampire Diaries so religiously. Paul Wesley's Stefan has raised the bar for good (for certain values of 'good') vampires. He's so sweet to Elena that it's almost a little syrupy - and yet he can be extremely unpleasant when he feels that he has to be. When Stefan's monster peeks out, you get a little glimpse of just what he might be capable of, and you really, really don't want to be on the receiving end of that. (Later on in the series, you find out precisely how monstrous he can be. Yikes.)
If Edward is supposed to have problems controlling his inner monster, Pattinson never shows it. He gets weepy, he gets pouty, but he never gets scary. And maybe that's by design. Twilight is the epitome of wish-fulfillment romance, and having the vampire actually be frightening might put a crimp in that. Maybe I'm slanging Pattinson without cause. Maybe he could play an Edward that would scare the pants (ha!) off Bella - and us - and just wasn't allowed to go there.
So, the moral of the story is, we need a better Edward. Oh, and also, if you must give your child Twillight, at least get her some Vampire Academy and House of Night to balance out the patheticness.