Thursday, August 11, 2011

Four Ridiculous TV Crossover Ideas That Would Be AWESOME

by Megan S.
via Purple Phoenix
If I had a magic wand, I'd use it to make these Star Trek, Firefly, Fringe and Chuck crossovers come to life.  The four plots are completely ridiculous yet would be completely AWESOME if they were real.  I mean, come on, if we can have Stewie from Family Guy make an appearance on Bones is it so much of a stretch to have Captain Malcolm Reynolds on the soap opera One Life to Live?

Guinan - Star Trek: The Next Generation

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Most of Guinan's past is shrouded in mystery.  It was well established that the Enterprise bartender was on Earth in the late nineteenth century, but very few crew members knew she was also around in the early twenty-first century as a popular talk show host working under the name "Whoopi Goldberg."  Her tale of being a small screen roundtable diva culminates with Guinan almost spilling the beans about her interstellar past during a particularly tearful interview with boss Barbara Walters.  Fortunately, Guinan notices a cameraman that looks suspiciously like Q wagging his finger back and forth.  She remembers the importance of timeline continuity and instead confesses that she secretly thinks her appearance on Tori Spelling's short lived sitcom, So NoTORIous, was her greatest achievement thus far.

Captain Malcolm Reynolds - Firefly

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In a very special story arc on the soap opera One Life to Live, Joey Buchanan confesses to Mayor Dorian Lord (his mother's nemesis and former stepmother) that he never got over their affair and still carries a torch for his former paramour.  Dorian coldly rejects our hero's declaration, claiming that Joey's ne'er-do-well cousin, David Vickers Buchanan, is the only man she's ever truly loved.

Joey is so heartbroken that he experiences a sudden onset of the same condition his mother and sister are afflicted with, Dissociative Identity Disorder.  His new personality?  He's no longer Joey Buchanan but spaceship captain and Browncoat, Malcolm Reynolds.  In a radical treatment suggested by the doctors at Llanview's St. Anne's psychiatric facility, the Buchanans ship Mal off to to the family ranch in Texas where he continues to fight off imaginary Reavers and periodically swear in Chinese.

Peter Bishop - Fringe

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(SEASON THREE SPOILERS, SWEETIE.)

Poor Olivia and Peter.  In order to save the woman that he loves as well as his friends and father, Peter sacrifices his own existence in both universes so that the others may survive.  But our Olivia knows all is not right.  After Walter discovers the multiverse, Olivia uses her cortexiphan-based powers to hop between realities searching for the missing piece of her life.  She finds it just outside of an alternate Boston in a little town named Capeside.

Turns out, Peter hadn't been erased.  Instead, the younger Bishop has been shunted into a third reality.  He retains all of his memories as well as those of Pacey Witter, one-time movie store clerk and now proprietor of the Ice House restaurant.  Olivia and Peter will spend yet another season pining for each other but not being able to do anything about because of yet another love triangle.  This time it's not Fauxlivia standing in their way, it's the fetching Joey Potter.

My thoughts exactly, Dawson.

Fernando - Chuck

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Who is Fernando, exactly?  Just another Buy More employee?  Nay, I say. NAY!  The footage collected in the YouTube video proves that bespectacled young man is not a purveyor of electronics but an Observer (except, you know, with melatonin and without the penchant for grey fedoras and trench coats) sent to witness important moments in geek history.  Really, it's the only logical conclusion one can draw.  Whether it's band camp, the creation of Facebook, or the CIA's first use of the Intersect, Fernando the Geek Observer will be there.
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2 comments:

  1. I would so watch the Firefly/One Life To Live one. As long as they would regularly so we would have a lingering "Which reality is real?" feeling, that would be awesome.

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  2. Ooo! If there were hints that the Firefly reality was the real one? That WOULD be good.

    I bet your sister would be down for the Pacey/Peter crossover.

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